Posts from — March 2005

This morning was the first I have noticed that had a definite scent of spring in the air. It was very cold, but the smell and feel of the air was somewhat different. Spring is definitely arriving, much to my dismay. I prefer the cold to keep everyone indoors. I feel training in the harsh winter weather toughens me up and gives me a competitive advantage.

I felt very strong on my bike, which was pleasing since my workouts have been longer and more intense than usual. This is the last big week before IMAZ. I guess my body has adapted to the training and I am now peaking for the race.

While riding today I let my thoughts kind of wander between hill intervals. I kept thinking about how my good friend and Tri-buddy ST likes to rub it in my face about how much faster of a swimmer he was and will be at the next IMLP.

I find it quite interesting that he likes to do that since he must know that the swim is the least important part of an IM race when it comes to time. Bragging about his supposed superior swim speed is equivalent to him bragging about how much faster he can jerk himself off. That’s all you are doing when it comes to the swim portion of IM. An extra 5 minutes doesn’t amount to much more than a spoonful of jism. (I invite reader response – post a comment).

Here are the details of my workout as described to my coach via email:

N –

I was viciously strong on the bike today. It was a definite Beastlike effort. I decided to do an even dozen repeats instead of 10. I was feeling good and the hill is short so I figured why not.

I think you should start giving my workouts in terms of dozens; such as 1 dozen hill repeats, 1 dozen 100’s in the pool. Somehow I think that expressing in terms of dozens makes the workouts sound more manageable. For instance, would you rather run SIX miles or only ½ dozen miles? Why do 6 when all you need to do is one half? You can even use the term Bakers Dozen. This would be especially useful when you want to give an extra treat. Sort of like the extra candle on the birthday cake for good luck.

Continuing along this train of thought, I think that they should make the Ironman be 144 miles. This way we can do a gross of miles. It just sounds right, especially since to the average person the thought of doing an IM would be gross.

Here are the workout stats:

Time: 1:30:24
HR: 132/158
Dist: 24.6
TiZ: A – 16:10, I – 43:55, B – 30:19
Calories: 1064

The hill just wasn’t long enough to get my HR up to where you wanted it to be.

——————————————

Home at midday: An account of why to K by email.

K -
I am home right now. I was at work and I thought I had gas. I went to the bathroom to take a leak and pass some when I had that unmistakable feeling.

I don’t know how anything could have come out of my rectum as I already took a double dip early this morning. It must have been my breakfast coming out.

There is nothing left inside me now, but I feel as though someone is exploding munitions inside my colon. Ugh.

Yesterday’s workout consisted of skipping hill repeats. This is where you literally skip up the hill. It is a strength building exercise. I did a lot of those workouts last year, but this was my first one of this season. I never see anyone else doing them. I can’t imagine why, they are so much fun.

ST ran towards me while I was skipping on my second repeat. He tried to talk me into doing a loop with him instead of continuing up the hill. I refused to let him detour me from completing my scheduled workout. I suspect he was trying to sabotage my training to give him a leg up at this year’s IMLP.

So I did my first five skippy repeats one right after the other. It was starting to get more difficult as time wore on. By the sixth repeat I found myself standing at the bottom of the hill and staring up at it. I was taking some time to contemplate skipping up this damn thing again. It was actually quite nice outside during this time. The sun was shining from behind me, casting a nice long shadow up the hill. The wind was blowing, satisfyingly robbing me of my accumulated body heat. It was really a beautiful and peaceful early springtime scene that I am glad to take a moment to appreciate.

So after standing at the bottom of the hill for several minutes with a goofy smile I my face, I finally talked myself into skipping up it again. My sixth repeat of a scheduled 8, but I had the feeling this would be my last one. I got up the hill in good form, but my HR was not rising as high as it was supposed to. I knew I was done. I grabbing my water bottle from my stash place and ran home.

The following is my message to coach about the workout:

I did a total of 6 skipping repeats. I stopped after 6 as I could no longer get my HR to 85% much less over. My HR max over all repeats was 89%. Perhaps it was just too cold to get it over 90% (95% was just not happening). I did a very slow run home.

The duration for each repeat was approximately 4 minutes up and 4 minutes down. The distance for each repeat was .4M and I figure my total distance today was around 7.8 miles.

The butt kicks on the way down the hill really kicked my butt. I found them much more difficult than skipping.

I am not particularly sore or tired, but I do feel as though I no longer have any muscle fibers left to train. I am afraid that if I do the 8M on Friday, I will fall apart again on Sunday. Should I continue with the plan or should we cut back on the next two days to setup a strong weekend?

C

Run Stats:
Time: 1:16:15
Dist: 7.8
HR: 141/164
TiZ (155/137): A – 14:03 I – 32:15 B – 29:57 (I stopped several times to contemplate skipping back up the hill).
Calories: 998 (had I known, I would have run another 50 feet).

QM: ut?
QM: is idle at 11:06:07 AM
C: You want me?
QM: is no longer idle at 3:08:15 PM
QM: is this a come on?
C: Yes, I’ve turned gay
C: Men really do know how to give the best blowjobs
QM: ok i have to go now.
QM: thanks, i just puked in my trash can.
C: did I ever direct you to my “The Dead Arm” story on my blog?
QM: yes
C: ok
C: Did you puke anything you don’t remember eating?
QM: i’m not having this conversation.
C: I had that happen to me the morning after my bachelor party
QM: eww
C: It wasn’t so bad.
C: I found a bunch of cocaine wrapped in a condom that I puked up.
C: Sold it to some yuppie scum later on in the casino and made out with lots of dough.
C: Of course, I am still watching my back for whomever may have given it to me to swallow in the first place.
QM: be thankful it didn’t pop in your stomach.
C: It would have been a painfree and sudden death.
C: Unlike my marriage… a slow and painful death.
QM: hahahaha
C: I like this conversation, it is going on my Blog
C: all parties shall remain namless to protect the innocent
QM: tell Juan to stop using caucasions to smuggle drugs.
QM: or was it Escobar?
C: otp with G
QM: fun for you!
C: don’t rmember
C: Scarface was so 80′s
QM: What was the more recent one? Blow?
C: I think so.
C: I didn’t like that one
QM: I didn’t like the ending. Why couldn’t he just die rich and happy? Is it really necessary to portray drug dealing as a dead end occupation?
C: I don’t rmember that
C: Perhaps I didn’t see it
C: now you spoiled the ending for me
C: Let me introduce you to my little friend….
QM: uhh…you said you didn’t like that one…implying you saw it.
C: Ok, you can have a pass
C: I did say that
C: The blow must have affected my mind
QM: Don’t make me send the Yu clan after you.
QM: I think I’ll rename them the Yu Tang Clan..
C: ok
QM: signed off at 6:06:05 PM.
QM: signed on at 7:40:09 PM.
QM: signed off at 9:34:04 PM.
QM: signed on at 10:40:47 AM.
QM: signed off at 10:43:11 AM.
QM: signed on at 10:43:36 AM.
QM: signed off at 10:43:46 AM.
QM: signed on at 10:47:14 AM.
QM: let the fun begin again.
C: yup
C: at least I can sit here scratching my balls and no one will know
QM: t will
C: nah, he is too busy scratching his own to notice
C: actually, today, I am not scratching them… Too busy picking at my ass. Terrible hemmoroids lately
QM: ahhh the natural effect of gravity….
QM: bye b
C: I cried when I saw that email
QM: i am still sobbing.
C: It happened just as I accidently sat on the arm of my chair and it rammed into my asshole
C: really fucked up the hemmoroids
QM: maybe you can cap-ex a cushion
C: they are called donuts
QM: good to know.
C: I really feel like calling and hanging up continuously
QM: i dare you.
QM: can we block all emails from eb?
C: She wants to sleep with you
QM: WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THAT?????
QM: JEEZ
C: dunno
QM: I’d rather sleep with T
C: not likely. She plays on the same team we do
QM: oh…even better.
QM: she’s the anchor?
C: anchor?
QM: the heavy person you put at the end of the tug of war line.
C: ah
QM: you know like battle of the network stars. remember that show?
C: yes
C: what about it?
QM: nothing, just thought of it with the anchor description.
QM: i wish we had HD tv back then.
QM: scantly clad stars in the water…
QM: what was the name of the woman from Buck Rogers?
C: dunno
QM: Erin something i think….
QM: you better tell them you aren’t going on the trip
C: I did
QM: does this mean i can pass also?
C: just say that you had a vacation planned
QM: i’ll tell them i am going to a eating contest.
C: pussy eating
C: ?
QM: i wish…actually nah, i’m to lazy.
C: you don’t give your woman head?
QM: only when i have to
QM: hahahahahah Trend doesn’t work on 2k3
C: don’t tell them
QM: “this is especially important for those who don’t actually research things besides virus definitions”
C: probably because she has several of her own
QM: i can’t imagine where she would get it from.
QM: sticking a raid controller up her ass?
QM: dollar says the outage is more than 3hours.
QM: nooooooo
QM: fuck
C: huh?
C: I am working on my blog
C: posting our conversation from yesterday
QM: they brought up another subject.. i was hoping the meeting was over
QM: you should include your chair in your ass incident from today.
C: ok
QM: do they really think that anyone is listening?

Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 17:09:29 -0500
From:c
To:coach
Subject: Injury Indication… [ ]

Coach –

Are hemorrhoids an indication of injury? If so, then I am injured, however it does not appear to impact my riding form.

I went outside today to do the hills. It was a bit cold, but I knew I wouldn’t get the proper workout in unless I went outside. I finished just as my water bottle started to freeze. I know you know that 4-8 minute hill climbs in Brooklyn (Manhattan for that matter) don’t exist, but I did the best I could on the Prospect Park hill. I am not sure why you schedule them, when clearly it is impossible to do given the geography.

I did 10 repeats one right after the other. I got my HR up as high as I could. I finished the ride with 2 cool down loops, plus 1 warm-up loop. However, my ride distance was short at only 22.4 miles. I hope I don’t regret missing this extra bit of training during IMAZ.

Here are the ride stats:
Time: 1:20:57
HR: 142/163
Dist: 22.4
TiZ (148/130): A – 25:03, I – 42:21, B -13:33

C

Maestro Neil –

A beautiful day in this great city’s Central Park. I was feeling good and ready to run. I started out my day by walking briskly/jogging easily to CP from 72nd and Broadway to the start of the 4M on 72nd and East Drive. I ran the 4M at a moderate pace and finished the race in 31:07. HR was 150/160.

After crossing the finish at Tavern on the Green, I jauntily ran back to 72nd and East Drive for the start of the Men’s Half Marathon. It kept me warm enough so that I was still loose for the start. I did a marathon pace for the Half and finished in 1:34:44, with a HR of 164/179. The 179 max was from my sprint to end as I wanted to look good for the Brightroom Photographers and my legion of fans cheering me as I crossed the finish line.

I am really glad I did this much distance, despite the fact that I suspect you will have reservations about me doing it. While physically, you probably didn’t want me to go so far, I must tell you that today was very good mental training. It has been quite some time since I ran this far at this level of intensity. Several times during the race, I was experiencing doubts about whether I felt like going on. I told myself to hold on and to persevere, even though a small voice inside me was whispering for me to stop.

I am glad I held on. When I got past the 10 mile mark, I really started to feel good. It was like my engine finally smoothed out and I started to cruise home. When I am suffering at IMAZ next month, I will remember this day and know that I can continue.

Here are the workout stats:

4M Race
Time: 31:07
HR: 150/160
Splits: 8:01, 7:41, 7:54, 7:30
TiZ: A-7:54, I – 21:32, B-1:41

13.1M Race
Time: 1:34:44
HR: 164/179
Splits:
7:09, 7:12, 7:07, 7:14, 7:25, 7:08,
7:08, 7:17, 7:08, 7:23, 7:29, 7:15, 7:00, .42

As I sit here on my porcelain throne reflecting over my past week, I recall how I was oddly inspired by my cellphone one morning. I was in the basement locker room where I swim each morning and as I glanced at my cellphone I noticed the word “Searching….” Usually when I see my cellphone searching for a signal I am extremely frustrated. This oftentimes happens while I am out in the open and people all around me are blathering recklessly into their own phones.

However, this morning I found the “Searching…” message so hopeful. Here my phone has no chance of receiving a signal, but it continues to search for one regardless. It was as if no one was going to tell it that searching for a signal was futile and that it should just give up. This phone was going to continue to search for a signal no matter where it was and nothing was going to stop it from doing so. Such a single-mindedness of purpose! What might someone be able to accomplish if they were to be as focused on a goal such as my phone?

I have decided to keep my phone’s “Searching…” message in my thoughts as I continue my own quest towards achieving a spot at the 2005 Kona, Hawaii Ironman Championship. I am going to continue to search for my spot at this holy grail of races with my own single-mindedness, regardless of how outside factors say that this is impossible. I will be like my cellphone struggling to break through the steel, metal, concrete and glass in search for my own signal. If my cellphone can have hope of getting a signal in that basement, then I can have hope of getting my Kona spot. After all, “Nothing is Impossible.”

Date:
Fri, 11 Mar 2005 14:52:26 -0500
From:B [+] [ ]
To:ST [+]
Subject:
Story by Joe Friel [ ]

Hey ST –

Someone posted a story by Joe Friel, a triathlon coach in NYC, on the Asphalt Green website. It concerns a story about a rider that was severly injured while riding his bike on 9W.

The story bothered me very much. Not because of what happened to the person, but because of the subliminal message I felt it sent. Since you can’t get on the AG website (you are not a Member and membership hath its priveledges), I am copying it here for you.

In my next email, you will see the response I posted about it.

Beast

———-
by Joe Friel –

Last month one of the cyclists I coach had an accident on a ride resulting in a closed-head injury, a collapsed lung, and several other lesser but still serious injuries. He was in a coma for 11 days. Now he is in rehabilitation learning to swallow, walk, and make gross motor movements again. As you can imagine, his family is devastated. So am I.

The strange part about all of this is that Steve was a safety-conscious guy. In his 50s, he owned a growing business and was starting a second. He just wasn’t the type to take undue risks on the bike. All we know about the crash is that he was riding alone and was wearing his helmet. He doesn’t recall anything else. A passing motorist saw him lying along the roadside and called 911.

This has never happened to someone I coach. Sure, I’ve had a few athletes break collarbones and lose skin, but nothing ever approaching the severity of this accident. A co-worker of mine once ran into the back of a parked pick-up truck with his head down while doing intervals. He has been in a wheelchair ever since. Steve’s crash brings that one back pretty vividly for me. Needless to say, I am a bit sensitive to safety right now. So bear with me as I vent a bit about the way we ride on the open roads.

This is the part where I say “don’t” a lot. I’ll start by saying don’t take safety for granted. I’m afraid we almost all do—including you. All of us want to have fun and become healthier and fitter from riding a bike. A crash can stop that in a heartbeat. It can happen to a friend, teammate, co-worker, spouse—or you. Never lose sight of how much you risk every time you go onto the road on a bike.

Riding a bike on the open road with traffic can be scary—or at least it should be. It’s a bit like being a mouse in an elephant stampede. Almost every month I hear of some cyclist I don’t know from somewhere far away who has had an accident of some sort. It doesn’t grab me like Steve’s has. I suspect his accident is just someone far away for you now also.

The worst of these accidents I hear about involve a car. The most common reason for these, I suspect, is inattentiveness of either the bike rider or the driver—or both. I know of a rider at a camp last summer who apparently lost his focus for just a moment and was hit by a bus, killing him. It’s not always the rider, I know. But you have no control over drivers, so when in or near traffic you must always be attentive. Don’t assume the drivers are. In fact, assume they aren’t and don’t even see you. Chances are you will be right a lot of the time.

Never take needless risks on the road. It is better to fully stop (with a foot on the ground) while watching to see what drivers are going to do at a stop sign than to bolt through the intersection to keep your workout going. Always ride with your eyes looking ahead and scanning the area around you, not down at your front wheel because of fatigue or a determination to ride faster. You need to know what’s just up the road and what drivers and other riders are doing. Don’t become a statistic for the sake of fitness. All it takes is a second of inattentiveness.

We don’t take riding on the road seriously enough until something goes wrong. How many times have you darted out in front of a car, run a red light, gone the wrong way on a one-way, or done something else just as stupid? Don’t do it. Swear to yourself right now that you will ride more safely and encourage others to do so, also. You owe this to many people, the most important of which is your family. Please ride safely.
—————–

The Beast Responds –

I certainly understand the need rider safety, and saw myself being talked about in Joe Friel’s story. Bike safety is a credo that everyone should adhere to.

This lesson that was driven home to me during an early morning ride one April. I was riding slowly and trying to avoid a puddle by hoping over a concrete curb that separated the bike path from the grass. I wasn’t going fast enough to hop it and fell into the puddle slamming my head against the ground. If it wasn’t for my helmet, I probably would have been knocked unconscious and drowned in about two inches of water.

However, recanting my story about being saved by wearing my helmet and hence rider safety is not the reason for my response to this post. While I am mortified by the tragic events that happened to this particular rider, I find this story disconcerting for other reasons.

We are all subject to the vagaries of fate, whether it is riding a bike, driving a car or sunning yourself on a beach in Indonesia. We can take all the precautions; utilize all the safety equipment available and exhibit the utmost care in our actions. Sometimes however, Fate, God or just plain bad luck will have you in the crosshairs.

After reading Joe’s story, I started to feel anxious about my early morning solo rides up 9W to Bear Mountain. What if something like this were to happen to me? Would I be lying on the side of the road while my two small children were waiting for their Daddy to come home? It got me thinking that perhaps it is not a good idea to do this type of ride; a thing I cherished very much during my training. I started to feel dismayed that I was considering not doing this anymore, because of something that odds say won’t happen.

Yes, we should all be careful when we ride. We should not jump red lights, dart traffic and act foolishly while on our bikes. We should all wear helmets and reflective clothes when riding in low light conditions. But we also must remember that we have to live. And sometimes things just happen despite our best efforts to remain safe.

If Joe’s story causes you to exhibit more care when you are out on your bike, then I am profoundly glad you read the story. However, for those who had a reaction like me, let’s try to keep it perspective and not worry about things we can’t control.

That’s my two cents for the day.

———-

ST’s Response and The Beasts final word.

Hey Beast:

I don’t think Joe F was trying to scare people with this piece, I think it was more of a cautionary tale that we should all remind ourselves now and again that things can go wrong, sometimes terribly wrong and that we need to not only stay focused, but never ride far from home alone.

I too get wigged out when I read horror stories of bikers getting maimed or killed. It’s almost too much to bear at times. But then, a lot of pedestrians get killed everyday and fat fucks who smoke and sit around die of heart attacks , etc etc.

Someone once wrote “we’re all gonna die, but some of us get to ride.” I understand what you’re response was saying and I agree whole-heartedly, but i don’t think Joe F was trying to scare people into not riding, hell, his livelihood depends upon people riding.

Date:
Fri, 11 Mar 2005 16:12:55 -0500
From: Beast [ ]
To:ST
Subject:
Re: My Response… [ ]

I don’t think he was intending to scare people with his piece, but that is what I think was the unintended consequence. I almost don’t understand the point of such writings, but I concede that some people need to be told horror stories like we were told as children to keep us out of trouble.

However, at some point you need to reach a level of maturity on your own that will keep you out of trouble. Without maturity, no story is going to keep you from acting recklessly. With maturity, such stories are unnecessary. And that is also one of the points to my response.

Beast

Man did I completely fall apart today. My legs were completely dead. I hate when I start out for a run and my legs die. When this does happen, I am usually a couple of miles away from home and the weather is terrible.

Today it was 29 degrees and I was underdressed to be walking home. Fortunately, I was only about .75 miles from home when I started to walk. I just couldn’t run as there was not one muscle fiber left with the strength to do so. I knew it was time to call it a day when an fat woman power walking passed me. It was quite discouraging and I was freezing cold at this point.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

So what can I say about today’s workout? It started out awful as I felt really crappy. After 15 minutes though, I felt great. I probably could have done an Ironman today. I rode 86.5 miles in an elapsed time of 5:05:00. I am not sure of the ride time. I had a few bathroom breaks and cellphone breaks.

I had a 7:15 transition to the run. I ran for 4 miles in 34:50. I was scheduled for a 2-3 mile brick, but I was just feeling too good and the day was too nice to pass it up. Besides, last year I felt the thing I missed in my training was longer brick work.

I had no remarkable pain in my usual problem areas. In other words, everything felt great. The first 5 minutes of the run was a little rough, but I smoothed out soon enough. I did notice that my HR while running started to go over 85% max HR for a relatively slow pace. I am fairly certain this was because I was slightly dehydrated. I am not sure what I could have done to prevent this situation, given the winter training conditions. No water fountains and there is only so much liquid you can carry while training for just under 6 hours.

Here are the vital stats:

Total time: 5:47:05 – This is elapsed time.
HR: 139/160
TiZ1 (155/137): A – 0:09:08, I – 3:49:26, B – 1:48:31
TiZ2 (148/130): A – 1:10:04, I – 3:37:14, B – 0:49:08
Calories: 4526

Right now I am resting on my couch hoping my digestion goes well. So far so good, but I do hear some rumbling in my stomach. I ate oatmeal with honey, whey protein and soy milk. Plus I took some BCAA’s, HMB, Glutamine, multivitamin and Tissue Rejuvenator for recovery. GI discomfit is very mild right now, but then again I am not moving a muscle other than my finger muscles to type.