Frozen Water

I felt like a frozen stream today when I went out for my run. I don’t know what happened to have made this so, it just felt like I had no energy and no desire to continue. I took a couple of walking breaks within the first two miles and flirted with taking a shortcut home instead of completing a loop around Prospect Park. I decided to go for the full loop to see if things improved by just pushing on.

If anything, my pace only got slower and I couldn’t get my HR up to acceptable levels. I tried not to be discouraged at my apparent lack of strength. I am trying to tell myself that this isn’t happening because I don’t feel like training anymore. I feel better when I have a good workout; I am just having trouble getting started lately. Maybe it is just the winter blahs. I wished I had someone to run with this morning. Perhaps I would have perked up a bit more and not felt so bushed. I completed a pathetically slow loop of the park and then called it a day. I wasn’t running fast enough to keep myself warm, despite the many layers of clothes I was wearing.

How does a person recapture the drive and fire they once felt to train? On a deep down level, I want to continue. But there is also a level inside me that is saying enough for a while. Take it easy, kick back and relax. Really though, this is not an option. I know where this alternative will take me and its not a place I want to go back to. I refuse to become one of the overweight and out of shape Americans that you see walking all over the place. I can’t do that to my body again. I want to live a very long life and that can only be achieved by taking care of your body. Signing up for races is a way to keep my focus and train towards a goal. Maybe I will feel better once the weather turns warmer again.