Posts from — January 2009

My father has been dead for a week and I still haven’t had a good cry over it.  I think my emotions are stuck inside me and are waiting to come out at some unsuspecting time.  I did get choked up this morning when I saw a family portrait of him when he was a baby, but that is as far as I’ve gotten.  I think it will be something small that finally gets to me.

Dad and me at Ironman Lake Placid Finish line

Anyway, last week was a light week as far as running goes.  I had family obligations for most of the week and truthfully I didn’t feel much like running.  My heart just wasn’t into it.  That better change by the time next Sunday rolls around because the plan is to run the Manhattan Half Marathon which will be sandwiched by a 13 mile run to the start and a 13 mile run home.  It will be the first of my long training runs for the Vermont 100 miler.

One of the things I must do before this summer arrives is to lose some weight.  I seem to be packing on the pounds.  I can’t help myself but eat and drink.  I do not like the way I am looking or feeling, but I suspect I am reaching a tipping point soon where I will get back on my diet and training program.  It’s either that or I will be forced to buy a new wardrobe as all of my clothes are starting to fit tight on me.

Snowman!!!

I know of no words that can adequately describe my father.  I fear that any attempt by me to do so would leave us all wanting.  Simply put, my Dad was larger than life, the life of the party and the strongest person I’ve ever known.  I love him dearly and he will be in my heart and mind forever as I know he will be in all of yours.

How do you say good-bye to someone you weren’t ready to let go?  It’s not fair that he’s gone and he went away so quickly, seemingly without warning. I didn’t get a chance to say all the things I wanted to, to tell him how proud of him I was, how fortunate I was to have him as a father, how much I learned about parenting from him and more. 

We all inherit and learn certain characteristics from our parents.  The thing that I inherited most from him was his perseverance and his excellent driving skills.  The man knew how to stick through anything and could make it through the most difficult of times.  He always stayed the course, and with unwavering love and compassion, he could make it through anything.  I’ve often thought of him when times in my life got tough and I asked myself what would my father do? 

Dad was never an endurance athlete like I am, but I have no doubt he would have made a great one.  I think of him if I want to stop during a race and the words of encouragement he would give me if he were by my side.  He has been there for me during times that he has never known and will continue to be there for me throughout the rest of my life.  My father lives on inside me as he does in many of us.

Through thick and thin, good times and bad, my father always had a smile, maintained an upbeat word and always had something good to say to everyone around him.  His personality was infectious and everyone loved him.  As I’ve spoken to friends and family over the last couple of days, the reaction has all been the same, they are without words to describe how great a man my father was and how profound a loss his passing is to us.

Dad always stood by his children’s sides – even when we disappointed or made him angry – he could not stay that way for long.  Nothing tells of his capacity to forgive and forget like he was able to do after the numerous car accidents that I had.

As much as I loved my father and he loved me, in many ways my father remained very much a mystery to me.  I could never figure out how he always remained so happy and content.  Oftentimes I would hear the best stories from my father when he was around other people.  Once he had an audience he would keep them enraptured of tales from when he was a kid or stories of collecting debts while he worked at Chase Manhattan Bank.  I would love to hear these stories as he told them and did get somewhat jealous that they would only come out when he had an audience. 

Dad wanted what he wanted and usually got his way.  I guess collecting debt for 40 years makes a person good at that.  He could be very impatient, which is another trait that I inherited from him. I must say it’s not entirely unwelcome as I consider it a virtue.  He had a profound love for the sun and would tan himself incessantly.  Two times that make me laugh the most in this regards was the time he was in the hospital to have a procedure done and insisted that Laurie bring him his sun lamp.  I can still imagine the conversation that ensued when the nurses walked into his room and saw him sunning himself. 

Dad could combine his impatience and love for the sun.  No better time was that than when Rita and I wanted to ride our bicycles from Miami to Key West, and he needed to drive us down to Miami from Boca Raton after Steven’s wedding.  Dad was so impatient to get to Miami Beach that he literally ditched us on the side of the road about 30 miles north of where we wanted to be.  He told us that we were crazy, but I know deep down he was proud of us for doing such an endeavor.  I know so because I would always hear second-hand from family friends and relatives how proud he was of my exploits.

Time inexorably moves forward, and over the course of time, our relationship changed.  I’ve been very fortunate over the last several years that we have grown closer and confided more in each other.  We started going to ballgames together, and Dad would accompany me to far away races that I would do.  I’ll never forget seeing his face cheering me on during Escape from Alcatraz in San Francisco or the look of concern on his face when I was late for finishing one of my Ironman Lake Placid races.

I’m sorry, Dad, for not always taking your advice. Sorry for giving you trouble (especially for wrecking all those cars), for fighting with you and challenging you, but that’s the way it is with fathers and sons, and I know you understand that. I know you know that I love you and will help take care of Laurie and the family just like you’d do and want me to do.

The first of the year dawned cold and windy.  It was 17 degrees, but that didn’t stop my friend Larry and I from doing our annual 1^st day of the year run.  We had a pleasant two loops of Prospect Park to ourselves as it appeared that the cold, previous evening’s festivities or combination thereof kept almost everyone out of the park.  I don’t think we passed more than 5 other runners. 

After the run we went home to get ready for the annual Coney Island Polar Bear Dip into the Atlantic Ocean.  This was without a doubt the highlight of my day, specifically because my 8 year old son decided to come with me and take a dip into the ocean as well.  I can’t express how proud I am of my little man.  It was 17 degrees outside and the water temperature was in the low 40’s and the kid tore off his clothes and dragged me into the water.  He was excited, laughing and had eyes shining bright with excitement.

The place was a mob scene and it was difficult to make our way through the crowd into the water.  We ran in holding hands and with adrenaline flowing.  I looked at my son and asked if he was ready to dunk himself.  He shook his head yes and then on the count of 3 we dunked our heads below the surface of the water.  It was bone chilling cold, so we didn’t hang around and started to run back to our blankets.

The crowd was even thicker at this point and we had a tough time finding our blanket.  To make matters worse, I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so I could see hardly anything.  I felt bad as I could tell my son was really cold and wanted his towel.  We probably found it within a minute, but it certainly felt longer.  Both our hands and feet were really cold and it was a struggle to get him dressed.  I had hand and toe warmers and I put them in his gloves and shoes to help warm him up.

Fortunately, while at the beach I met up with @brujitalinda.  She was there with a friend who wasn’t doing the dup and was kind enough to take pictures of me and my son on the beach.    @brujitalinda looked stunning in her bikini and was adorned with her New Year’s resolutions written on her body.  Perhaps next year I will do the same.

 On the way home from the beach, my son rested in the back seat, laying down across it with his cold feet pressed against the bare flesh of my stomach.  They were nice and cold and he found it infinitely amusing as I complained about his cold feet pressing against me.  When we got home, we both took warm baths and then went back out to Larry’s house for post Dip festivities.  We drank his wife’s delicious Hot Toddies and equally delicious Chili.  All totaled it was a great start for the New Year.

 

So 2008 was not one of my best years.  It started out well training wise, but by March I was completely hobbled with stress fractures in both legs.  I missed most of my races (what a waste of money) and gained a lot of weight and lost almost all of my fitness.  I came as close to the edge of giving up training completely as one could get, but somehow pulled myself back from this precipice.  Major credit for me not giving up completely goes to my friend Larry.  He serves as an inspiration and trained with me all through the fall.  Without his influence and training companionship I wouldn’t have been able to prepare myself for the NYC Marathon and the JFK 50 Miler.  By the end of 2008 I ran over 1000 miles and set my focus on doing the Vermont 100 miler in 2009.

This year should be better.   To start the year off right, I am going to make some resolutions…

In no particular order my 2009 New Year’s Resolutions are:

1.       Do 100 Pushups and Sit Ups every day.

2.       Keep better track of my finances.

3.       Be a better father.

4.       Stretch regularly.

5.       Read with my children every day.

6.       Stay injury free