Verge of Greatness

Sometimes I feel as though I am on the verge of greatness, that something is awaiting for me just around the corner and all I have to do is reach out and grab it.  Then reality sets in and I wonder what I was thinking.  What was that ephemeral feeling that caused me to think that I was on the cusp of achieving immortality?

Inevitably, I come to my senses and realize that nothing has changed and that I am still the same person I was a few moments ago.  Really though the only thing preventing me from achieving greatness is myself.  It is all a mental thing.  I have to release my mind in order to let myself achieve my true potential.  I suppose some people can do this alone, but I suspect that most people who reach greatness had someone by their side to help encourage them along.  A person who will stand by them and give them the things they need in order to reach what they are capable of doing.

I think at times this feeling of greatness comes to me when a person comes into my life and makes me feel good about myself.  When you feel good about yourself you are in a better mood, the world looks brighter and you think nothing is impossible. 

The decisions I’ve made in my life have led me to where I am and there is no changing that now.  I am not in a bad place, but I could be in a better one.  It is all up to me to change that and I suppose that means fighting for what I need and want.  Not doing so will only lead to a life of mediocrity and boredom.

I still need to reset my mind.  It has been a slow process this go around, but I can at least say that I am constantly thinking about it and wondering about how I should go about doing it.  Right now I am like a rat trapped in a maze and I need to figure my way out of this mental fugue.  I know greatness lies just ahead and all I have to do is get there.

I’ve been running intermittently lately, with the highlights of my running coming with my children, especially my son.  Beast Jr, as I like to call him, has been happily going out for a run with me ever since he did the Turkey Trot with me.  We run anywhere between 2 – 4 miles and he really keeps a decent pace.  He is excited to run and laughs and smiles the entire time.  If he keeps this up, I’ll have the best regular running partner of all.  We are already signed up for 3 races next year (my daughter 2 of them) and I am really looking forward to these events.  It feels good to be looking forward to something.

I am looking forward to the end of this year.  It is time to put closure on one of the worst years of my life as well as members of my own family.  My father died, my uncle died, a good friend of mine died and the contract to my job ended, leaving me briefly without any work.  It was a stressful and depressing year and it will be good to start a new chapter.