I woke up this morning to find another gray chest hair. I thought I eliminated this problem a couple of months ago when I first discovered one of those bad boys and plucked it off my chest. It was much to my dismay this morning that I found another. I mean, how does this happen? It wasn’t there yesterday. Did a 1 inch strand of hair suddenly sprout out of my chest overnight? Did something happen to this hair follicle that caused it to suddenly turn gray? I haven’t been under any particular stress for such a dramatic event to occur so the whole thing is deeply puzzling. It’s enough to make me want to start shaving my chest again.

So anyway, I was discussing my gray hair with some friends over twitter, which led to the inevitable discussion over age. I started to ask if my friend Darkgracie understood why time seems to pass faster as we get older. She feels that it is a state of mind. That as we get older we are busier so perhaps don’t notice how fast time is passing by us. No doubt that this possibility is a contributing factor. However, what I truly believe causes this phenomena of the years passing by faster has to do with fractions.

You see, as we get older, each year becomes a smaller fraction of our lives. A year in the life of a 40 year old is not as significant as a year in the life of an 8 year old. To an 8 year old, 1 year represents a relatively large portion of his life; whereas to a 40 year old it’s a much smaller fraction. The interval of time we are measuring is the same, but as a total portion of one’s life, it becomes less significant as the years go on.

A 1 year interval to a child seems to be a huge amount of time, that’s because proportionally to their lives it is a large amount of time. As we age, each year is in proportion smaller amounts of your entire life which in turn makes the time seem to go faster. A 40 year old may have trouble remember which year something happened in since they tend to blend together after a while. One year ago for an 8 year old would seem like a very long time ago. At 40, you need to have many years pass before it seems like a long time ago.

You can read other people’s theories about why this phenomenon occurs here.

In a way I am glad I am doing the Vermont 100 miler instead of Ironman Lake Placid this year, just for the change of pace. As you start doing the same race over and over again, one year just begins to bleed into the next year. I was discussing this with my friend Larry who has streaked to 25 consecutive New York City Marathons. I asked him if he can remember something specific from each of the Marathons. He didn’t think he could; they all become the same after a while. Sure there were a few marathons at which he could remember specific things, but overall they all became the same. It begins to become like it was just yesterday when you were doing the previous year’s marathon. You are doing the same thing year after year only the number on the calendar has changed.

I guess you can also think of it as life starts to become easier as you gain more experience. When you were a young child it would take you a while to read through a book when you were first starting to learn to read. As you get older and got more practice at reading, the pages would turn ever faster and faster. It is easier to pass the time as you get more experienced with age. It just slips by.

Well, that is enough philosophy for one day. It is time for me to get out and do a run. I can’t miss days. Yes, one day in and of itself is insignificant, but they add up. July 19th will be here very soon. Before I know it, my first Vermont 100 Miler will have been several years ago. I know that too soon, I will be looking back at this event rather than looking forward to it. I want to look back at it knowing I made a good showing. In order to be able to have that piece of mind, I need to put in the work now while I still have the time. The day will be here soon enough.

Wednesday, 1/16, 6pm on F train heading towards Brooklyn

Today is a non-running day, which means I am heading to the pool. I really wish I did my swim in the morning, but as usual I slept too late to make it to the pool on time. I really need to get to bed earlier. I just don’t want to go to sleep so early. I just want entertainment at night, whether it is watching TV, chatting online or perhaps best of all, having sex with my wife. But even after all that is done I don’t feel like going to sleep. It’s like I’ve suddenly become afraid that I am going to miss something. If only we didn’t have to sleep.

I am really not in the mood to go to the pool. The whole point of the pool workout is to give my legs a rest, serve as active recovery and to keep my cardiovascular fitness improving. That is looking at it negatively though. I need to change that line of thinking. Swimming will give me a much needed upper body workout, balance out my body and for vanity’s sake and keep me looking good. I look back at my IMLP photos, especially from 2005/2006 and I see how cut I looked. I love the way I looked in those pictures and do want to get back there. Swimming is one way to do it. I just got to start swimming in the morning so it doesn’t seem like such a chore as when I do it at night.

Anyway, so I am on the way to the pool. Hopefully it won’t be crowded, or even better it will be closed because someone puked in it. Hey, that’s not good… Did I really just say that?

Thursday, 1/17, 9am on F train heading into Manhattan

I felt really good after my swim last night. As I stood in the locker room feeling the warmth in the muscles of my upper body I began to feel like a triathlete again. I guess in my heart I will always want to be a triathlete and not just an ultrarunner. Suddenly, I was feeling like increasing my schedule to incorporate more swim and bike training. However, that is not what I am supposed to do. I am an ultrarunner now and that’s what I have to focus on.

I ran 9 miles this morning. It was supposed to be 8, but I took a new course and misjudged how far I would go. I kind of knew if would go over, but I didn’t really care. I figured a little extra distance won’t hurt me and besides I was enjoying the run. My legs were a little sore from the previous days strength training session, but it was a good soreness. The weather was beautiful outside and I just wanted to run. I would have gone longer had time permitted.

Friday 1/18 6pm

I am sitting in my office drinking a Bud Light waiting for the poker game with my staff to begin. I am kind of out of sorts today. I woke up around 4am and decided to get out of bed. I had a bowl of Total Whole Grain Cereal and then decided to get on my bike for an hour instead of going back to sleep. I didn’t want to take a chance that I would go back to bed, oversleep and miss the workout. So I headed to my trainer in the basement, put on the season finale of Dexter on Showtime on Demand and spun easily for 60 minutes. I finished by 5:30am which left me 2.5 hours to go back to sleep before I had to get back up for work.

By the time I woke up again, I wondered if the workout had ever really happened. I had to check my HR monitor to see if I actually recorded a workout. I did, but I still felt as though I did nothing for the day. I called my coach later on and asked him if I did a workout in the middle of the night, went back to bed and then woke up feeling like I didn’t work out, will I have actually have done it. He said yes, so I didn’t worry about doing another one even though I still feel the need to get in some exercise.

It was a pretty difficult run this morning. It was nothing about the course I ran, it just felt like my legs had a hard time moving. This happens sometimes and I am not sure why. Sometimes I think it just has to do with running in the morning, before my body has fully woken up and warmed up. I know there have been times when I’ve gone out feeling like I did, only to turn around, go back home and then do the run later in the day at which time I felt great. But I was already outside and I didn’t feel like turning back so I persevered through a 6.2 mile run. It wasn’t my best, but at least I did it and the morning was absolutely beautiful. Perfect really for a January morning run and much more enjoyable than yesterday’s one hour ride on the spin bike at the NYSC.

I wish though the run put me in a better mood for the rest of the day. I have to deal with an asshole at work; someone who insist on cooking inside my kitchen. She insists she knows how to bake my pie, but the only thing she is going to do is make a mess of things. I really need to tell her to go fuck herself. Lord knows she can probably use it as I can’t see anyone, male or female wanting to get anywhere near this creature. She makes stomachs turn and skin crawl. Maybe I can get everyone to start calling her Guffy – Gezz Ugly, Feel Free to Fuck Yourself. It so fits her.

I’ll just have to focus on more pleasant thoughts throughout the day. Like running through the woods during the VT100 when I am dead tired, achy and can hardly move. I get chills thinking about that. How bad will I feel? Will I be feeling bad at all? All of these are questions that I do not have answers for. The closest I have to knowing this information were the 5 times I’ve done an Ironman. If that’s the case, then I suppose I won’t know whether or not I could do it until I actually cross the finish line. I remember when I ran my best Ironman, an 11:11 effort at Lake Placid that I really didn’t know if I would finish the race until I started to head down the finishers shoot. I remember thinking I could blow up at anytime. I suppose that is what it will be like at the VT100. I’ll probably be at the 99 mile mark and still wondering if I could do it. You just never know. I could take a break at mile 99, sit down, fall asleep and then miss the cutoff. It’s an unlikely scenario, but possible. I am just going to have to wait and see.

In the meantime, I will continue working out, even on those days when I don’t feel so great. I must get used to training through all sorts of conditions and feelings. I am sure I will be going through many conditions and feelings once I start the VT100.

I had a fantastic run today. I decided I was going to do the Two Bridges run, which meant I would run through downtown Brooklyn, over the Manhattan Bridge and then back into Brooklyn by way of the Brooklyn Bridge. I was a breezy and cool, but still well warmer than normal for a day in January. I started the run off with a run through Prospect Park to warm up. I was looking forward to getting out of the park though; since I am getting a little stir crazy being in there all the time.

Exiting the park through Grand Army Plaza, I made my way down Flatbush Avenue to the Manhattan Bridge. The MB is a neglected jewel for running. Hardly anyone uses the pedestrian walkway. It a free and clear shot into Manhattan with spectacular views of the Brooklyn Bridge and downtown Manhattan. It is a smooth run, but can be a little noisy and the subway runs right along the side. Every time I run over the bridge I can’t help feeling as though something is missing from the skyline as I cross it. Maybe one day it will look right and whole again. The best part of running over the MB is the view it afford of the Brooklyn Bridge. You can see it from end to end and the boats passing underneath.

Once off the bridge it was a quick trip through the sights and smells of Chinatown. It is quite a contrast from the Brooklyn side of the bridge. I quickly ran through Chinatown and felt my stomach rumble as the smell of duck and port wafted out of the kitchens. I bee lined out of there and headed for the East River, down under the FDR drive. As you run along the water, you can see a small beach exposed just under the Brooklyn Bridge. I snapped another photo from here. I would have liked to have posted this one to utterz, but I was getting cold just standing around. Instead I got on the move again and headed back up to the Brooklyn Bridge.

Few people remember that the original walkway on the Brooklyn Bridge used to be broken up by staircases on each side. This was changed back when the bridge was renovated back in the 80’s. Now it is a very pleasant by crowded run over a wooden walkway. I took a photo of the suspension cables holding up the bridge. Please excuse my thumb in the bottom left of the picture. The BB, is actually a combination of Suspension and Cable Stay technologies. The combination makes for a beautiful spider web type effect. It is really a very beautiful piece of architecture.

Once off the bridge, I just made my same way back to Prospect Park to finish off the run. I was schedule for 12 miles, but decided to do a baker’s dozen. Thinking of a baker’s dozen got me in the mood for bagels, so I stopped and purchased one before I got home. I had it with a schmear of cream cheese and a couple of easy over eggs.

So here are the stats for today’s run: 13.1 miles in 1:58:56. Avg/Max HR: 149/159 Ascent 600 feet.

A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. Steve Prefontaine.

What a damn animalistic quote. I absolutely love it. You need to be maniacal to push yourself like that. There is a certain joy in pushing yourself beyond your limits. Really what are your limits anyway? How do you ever know you’ve reached them? The only way to do so is to keep pushing harder.

I won’t say that today during the Fred Lebow 5 miler in Central Park that I pushed myself to my limits. However, I did push myself at a faster pace than I have done so in quite some time. It felt good and bad at the same time. It always does. I wasn’t sure how fast I would be able to run at. I just ran a pace that I felt I could sustain. I measured my progress by the number of runners that I passed or passed me. For the most part I stayed with the same group throughout the race; at least it appeared that way to me. The defining part of the race, was just at the start of the Cat Hill section of the course. Another runner had come up on my right and I felt irked enough not to let this person pass. I thought of the Steve Prefontaine quote at this point. I decided I wanted to see who had enough guts to make it up this hill first. I started to really put in my first competitive hard effort since the Staten Island 6 hour run. It felt really good to hold this person of and in fact drop him before I got to the top of the hill.

At this point it wasn’t that much further to the finish line. I managed to drop my pace by 30 seconds per mile to 6:47 and finished the race strong. I wasn’t even winded when I crossed the line and stopped running, which let me know I still could have gone a lot harder. I didn’t want to push it though, my HR was at around 95% of max and I didn’t want to risk injury. I put in a good hard effort and took a good measurement of where I stand fitness wise. I learned that I still have a lot of work and fitness to recover, but I am not as bad as I feared I would be. I’ll be happy once I run my races in sub 7 minute miles.

Lap Time Lap Time HR Max Avg Min Dist min/mile
1. 0:07:38.2 0:07:38.2 168 169 157 116 1.008 7:36
2. 0:14:50.6 0:07:12.4 168 171 168 165 1.027 7:08
3. 0:22:12.6 0:07:22.0 171 172 170 167 1.021 7:15
4. 0:29:32.3 0:07:19.7 175 176 172 168 1.006 7:17
5. 0:36:25.9 0:06:53.6 179 179 176 174 1.018 6:47

I think I blogged something about trying out sobriety recently, but I just couldn’t help myself tonight. A friend called me beyond the last minute (I was way to leave the office) and asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink. We always have a good time together, so of course I said yes. I wound up in Papillion and had 4 beers and a plate of fried Calamari. Not the best thing to eat and drink the night before a race, but what the hell, you only live once. At least I am not as drunk as this guy sitting next to me on the train. Whenever the train starts moving again after a stop, he falls into my side. I don’t mind though, I think I’ve been there before. At least he doesn’t smell.

Tomorrow I am doing the Fred Lebow 5 miler in Central Park. I need to be at the New York Road Runners Club to pick up my race number by 7:30am. I am going to meet a friend there at this time. It should be really interesting to see if I make it in time. It’s already 9:30pm (as I write this on the subway), I haven’t eaten dinner and for the life of me haven’t been able to get out of bed before 8am for the past few days. I know I’ll do it, because this year is the start of the new me; the one that’s seriously training for the Vermont 100 miler.

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. I’ll post this entry when I get home, after I recycle some beer of course, and then eat dinner and go to bed. I’ll probably wind up driving and spring for a parking garage somewhere on the East Side. I just don’t see myself waking up by 5:30am to make the subway by in time to make it to the race on time. Hey, I make enough money to splurge every once in a while. Thank G-d for that.

I suppose I should give up drinking now that I am committing myself towards training for the VT100 and the fact that the alcohol tends to exacerbate my headaches. However, I told myself I should live my life in moderation and giving up all alcohol would be abstinence and not moderation. I believe that total abstinence is the right policy for very few things in life. I like to try most everything at least once in a while. Think about it… I can’t even say that I totally abstain on killing. I wouldn’t hesitate to kill a cockroach running across my path.

Yesterday I did manage to drink again. I was with a large group of colleagues from my office and we were all at the Marriott Marquois Times Square bar chilling out after attending a day of conferences. At first I decided to only drink water, but the temptation of free booze and getting a little loose with a group of people I for the most part liked was eventually too great. I decided to have a Guinness beer or two while we were hanging around waiting for a post conference party to begin. I was careful to monitor myself and not drink too much as I didn’t want the headache I had in the morning to return. That headache required a shot of Imitrix in my ass to get rid of it. I didn’t feel like going back there.

So anyway, I drank 1.5 beer mug size glasses (or was it 2.5) of Guinness before we headed to a Mexican restaurant/bar for the after party. There I had half a glass of a frozen marguerita, which I didn’t like and hence only half a glass and then a bottle of Bohemia, my favorite Mexican beer. I ate lousy, noshing on tortilla chips and an assortment of Quesadillas that were being served as cocktails. While I was there, I was talking to another colleague who does a lot of training as well. She was telling me how she decided to take today off from training. All I could think about was how I missed my training this morning and how I really felt like I should have done something today. I decided right then and there that I was going to cut the night short and go home for a run in Prospect Park. I said my goodbyes and made for the subway.

I got home pretty quick, but feeling minimally headachy and tired. I forced myself out the door though, since I know come the VT100, I’ll be more than headachy and tired come 1am in the morning when I will have been running for over 18 hours. I need to get used to running when I don’t want to. Perhaps drinking and making myself not feel so great is a great strategy for preparing my body for this type of training. I’ll have to check with my coach on that one.

So anyway, last night’s run turned out to be a decent 4 miles around Prospect Park. I felt really good about getting myself out there and I enjoyed a nice run in solitude. It was just the type of calming thing to help me fall asleep later, without the need of an Ambien.

Well I ran longer than I should have this morning, especially considering I shouldn’t have run at all. This morning was a scheduled pool workout, but I woke up too late to get the swim in and make it to work on time. So I went out for what should have been a short run, but instead I went ahead and made it longer. Only 6.3 miles, but it turned what should have been a sub 30 minute workout into almost an hour. So now I am just as late to work as if I had gone to the pool. Maybe not that bad, but still I am pushing the line with how late I’m going in. What’s worse is I have a meeting I am going to be late for. Oh well. I was just enjoying my run too much to stop it short.

Unlike yesterday I was running pretty well today. I averaged about 9 minute miles pretty effortlessly. My HR is still a little high for a 9mm effort, but that will come down over the next couple of months. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do on the fitness I lost over the late fall. The key is to just keep from getting too exuberant with my running to prevent potential injury. That is going to be hard to do though if I keep feeling the way I did during this morning’s run. It was one of those days where I get chills down my spine from feeling so good. Part of the good feelings was thinking about what I am going to be doing in July. In fact I am getting those chills now as I type this blog entry.

Running the VT100 is going to be something that is great. A real point in my life that I will remember. I think of myself now running alone in the middle of the night. Will I be delirious? Will I be happy? Will I be thinking about lying on the ground, rolling into a ball and dying? I have no idea and that is part of the excitement. I will be pushing my body to a point it’s never been to before. I’ll be exploring uncharted territory; reaching the unknown. I’ll be a modern day explorer searching my own soul for answers. I’ll measure myself as a man, see what sort of guts I have and run for 100 miles. Failure at this endeavor is not an option. Knowing that I am going to be doing this, well, it’s not a feeling I can easily describe.

I am going to make a concerted effort this year to fully document my training online. After all, it’s not every year where I will be training for a 100 mile race. I should pay respect to what I am going to do and document how I got there. Half if not most of the event is all of the training you do leading up to it. I’d only be telling half the story if all I wrote about was doing the event itself and not writing about what I did to allow me to accomplish my goal.

Winter, it’s the new Spring. I just love Spring in the Winter. I am able to go to work without a coat and I can run outside without having to put on tights, hat and multiple layers. Not that I really mind the cold. If you dress properly, the cold should not be an issue, even on the most cold and windy of days. But nothing beats getting home from work and hearing your kids tell you that it’s so warm outside that they want to ride their bikes with you while you run. I love when they accompany me. Besides the company, I know they are getting some much needed exercise and a break from the usual gamut of cartoons on TV.

Yesterday worked out perfectly for me. I wanted to go for a run at lunch in this sunny and warm weather, but I was invited out to a power lunch to welcome a new staff member to my company’s management team. I couldn’t gracefully turn it down and I harbored hopes of being able to sneak out of the office later in the day to get in the run. How happy was I, when my wife called me later in the day to tell me that my kids wanted to ride with me when I got home from work. It made my day and once again thought how everything happens for a reason.

This morning I started to get back into my training routine after being off of it for a little over a week due to travel and a cold. I need to get focused if I am going to have a shot at being successful for the Vermont 100 miler. I got outside this morning while it was still dark, in shorts and light jacket (Go Global Warming!), and did a slow 7 miles in Prospect Park. I had the energy to do the run and the music I was listening to made the run go by pleasantly enough, but I was a little concerned with how slow my pace was. I was only averaging about 10 minute miles which is obscenely slow for me. I was wondering what ever happened to my casual 8 minute mile training pace.

I could already hear in my head the conversation I am going to have with my coach later in the day when I complain to him about my pace. He is just going to tell me not to worry about it. I guess I really shouldn’t, especially because in the Vermont 100 miler I would be very ecstatic with averaging a 10 mm pace and I know I will not be averaging that. For the VT100 I’ll be quite satisfied coming in at 24 hours which is just under 14:30’s per mile. That pace just sounds so doable, but we are talking about moving at that pace for a straight 24 hours. We will just see how it goes. Those back to back 8 hour training runs that will come up in the real Spring should be a good indication of my VT100 pace.

One of the biggest things I am coming to grips with over doing the VT100 is the fact that I am pretty much giving up on Ironman for the next two years. Well, at least IM Lake Placid. I won’t be doing it this year, and I won’t be able to register myself for next year. Ironman is just something I’ve been holding onto for the past 5 years and its feeling weird letting go. I suppose I could drive the few hundred miles from Vermont to Lake Placid to register the day after, but I think that might just be a little insane; just a little. I really can’t worry about that though. I need to focus completely on the VT100. Perhaps I’ll be able to get into the Badwater 135 the next year. For those reading my blog that don’t know, the Badwater 135 is a 135 mile run starting in Badwater, Death Valley in the middle of the summer. It starts from the lowest point on the North American continent (285’ below sea level) and winds up on top of Mt. Whitney at 8360′. If I can do the VT100, I should be able to do that. It’s only an extra 35 miles. Oh the suffering should be so damn good.

1/4/07

I’ve been sick for the past few days so I haven’t done any training. I hate when that happens. I start to get used to just lying around and it gets hard to start up again. I get used to sleeping late and taking it easy. The old habits of sitting back and watching TV begin to take over and I can feel myself becoming a couch potato slob again. But maybe this is happening for a reason. My shin has been bothering me and I have to get it to heal. In just 7 months time I’ll be running 100 miles through the hills and trails of Vermont. I need to have my leg completely healthy. Perhaps a cortisone shot will help

1/6/07 1:00am

Well I can’t fall asleep again which has been nothing new. I feel as though I can take a bottle of Ambien and I would still stay awake. At least I was able to get in a run Saturday afternoon, despite the fact that I am still feeling sick. I did just an easy 4 mile run around Prospect Park. It felt great. I was running with a feeling of exhilaration as I thought about how in just 7 months time I’d be running 100 miles. If that thought isn’t enough to motivate me during this short stuff, I don’t know what would. All I could think of would be the sense of accomplishment I will have once I complete that race, hopefully less than 24 hours so I can get the special buckle.

I am going to finish sucking on this Ambien in a few minutes at which time I’ll try to go to sleep again. I feel like waking up early enough to do a moderately long run. This just means I plan to run for as long as I feel like. I am not sure how far that will be at this point, but I at least want to give myself a chance to do so before I need to start running errands for the day. Well, that’s all for now, I am hoping to sleep soon.