A lot of people run a race to see who is fastest. I run to see who has the most guts, who can punish himself into exhausting pace, and then at the end, punish himself even more. Steve Prefontaine.

What a damn animalistic quote. I absolutely love it. You need to be maniacal to push yourself like that. There is a certain joy in pushing yourself beyond your limits. Really what are your limits anyway? How do you ever know you’ve reached them? The only way to do so is to keep pushing harder.

I won’t say that today during the Fred Lebow 5 miler in Central Park that I pushed myself to my limits. However, I did push myself at a faster pace than I have done so in quite some time. It felt good and bad at the same time. It always does. I wasn’t sure how fast I would be able to run at. I just ran a pace that I felt I could sustain. I measured my progress by the number of runners that I passed or passed me. For the most part I stayed with the same group throughout the race; at least it appeared that way to me. The defining part of the race, was just at the start of the Cat Hill section of the course. Another runner had come up on my right and I felt irked enough not to let this person pass. I thought of the Steve Prefontaine quote at this point. I decided I wanted to see who had enough guts to make it up this hill first. I started to really put in my first competitive hard effort since the Staten Island 6 hour run. It felt really good to hold this person of and in fact drop him before I got to the top of the hill.

At this point it wasn’t that much further to the finish line. I managed to drop my pace by 30 seconds per mile to 6:47 and finished the race strong. I wasn’t even winded when I crossed the line and stopped running, which let me know I still could have gone a lot harder. I didn’t want to push it though, my HR was at around 95% of max and I didn’t want to risk injury. I put in a good hard effort and took a good measurement of where I stand fitness wise. I learned that I still have a lot of work and fitness to recover, but I am not as bad as I feared I would be. I’ll be happy once I run my races in sub 7 minute miles.

Lap Time Lap Time HR Max Avg Min Dist min/mile
1. 0:07:38.2 0:07:38.2 168 169 157 116 1.008 7:36
2. 0:14:50.6 0:07:12.4 168 171 168 165 1.027 7:08
3. 0:22:12.6 0:07:22.0 171 172 170 167 1.021 7:15
4. 0:29:32.3 0:07:19.7 175 176 172 168 1.006 7:17
5. 0:36:25.9 0:06:53.6 179 179 176 174 1.018 6:47

I think I blogged something about trying out sobriety recently, but I just couldn’t help myself tonight. A friend called me beyond the last minute (I was way to leave the office) and asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink. We always have a good time together, so of course I said yes. I wound up in Papillion and had 4 beers and a plate of fried Calamari. Not the best thing to eat and drink the night before a race, but what the hell, you only live once. At least I am not as drunk as this guy sitting next to me on the train. Whenever the train starts moving again after a stop, he falls into my side. I don’t mind though, I think I’ve been there before. At least he doesn’t smell.

Tomorrow I am doing the Fred Lebow 5 miler in Central Park. I need to be at the New York Road Runners Club to pick up my race number by 7:30am. I am going to meet a friend there at this time. It should be really interesting to see if I make it in time. It’s already 9:30pm (as I write this on the subway), I haven’t eaten dinner and for the life of me haven’t been able to get out of bed before 8am for the past few days. I know I’ll do it, because this year is the start of the new me; the one that’s seriously training for the Vermont 100 miler.

Well, that’s all I have to say for now. I’ll post this entry when I get home, after I recycle some beer of course, and then eat dinner and go to bed. I’ll probably wind up driving and spring for a parking garage somewhere on the East Side. I just don’t see myself waking up by 5:30am to make the subway by in time to make it to the race on time. Hey, I make enough money to splurge every once in a while. Thank G-d for that.

I suppose I should give up drinking now that I am committing myself towards training for the VT100 and the fact that the alcohol tends to exacerbate my headaches. However, I told myself I should live my life in moderation and giving up all alcohol would be abstinence and not moderation. I believe that total abstinence is the right policy for very few things in life. I like to try most everything at least once in a while. Think about it… I can’t even say that I totally abstain on killing. I wouldn’t hesitate to kill a cockroach running across my path.

Yesterday I did manage to drink again. I was with a large group of colleagues from my office and we were all at the Marriott Marquois Times Square bar chilling out after attending a day of conferences. At first I decided to only drink water, but the temptation of free booze and getting a little loose with a group of people I for the most part liked was eventually too great. I decided to have a Guinness beer or two while we were hanging around waiting for a post conference party to begin. I was careful to monitor myself and not drink too much as I didn’t want the headache I had in the morning to return. That headache required a shot of Imitrix in my ass to get rid of it. I didn’t feel like going back there.

So anyway, I drank 1.5 beer mug size glasses (or was it 2.5) of Guinness before we headed to a Mexican restaurant/bar for the after party. There I had half a glass of a frozen marguerita, which I didn’t like and hence only half a glass and then a bottle of Bohemia, my favorite Mexican beer. I ate lousy, noshing on tortilla chips and an assortment of Quesadillas that were being served as cocktails. While I was there, I was talking to another colleague who does a lot of training as well. She was telling me how she decided to take today off from training. All I could think about was how I missed my training this morning and how I really felt like I should have done something today. I decided right then and there that I was going to cut the night short and go home for a run in Prospect Park. I said my goodbyes and made for the subway.

I got home pretty quick, but feeling minimally headachy and tired. I forced myself out the door though, since I know come the VT100, I’ll be more than headachy and tired come 1am in the morning when I will have been running for over 18 hours. I need to get used to running when I don’t want to. Perhaps drinking and making myself not feel so great is a great strategy for preparing my body for this type of training. I’ll have to check with my coach on that one.

So anyway, last night’s run turned out to be a decent 4 miles around Prospect Park. I felt really good about getting myself out there and I enjoyed a nice run in solitude. It was just the type of calming thing to help me fall asleep later, without the need of an Ambien.

Well I ran longer than I should have this morning, especially considering I shouldn’t have run at all. This morning was a scheduled pool workout, but I woke up too late to get the swim in and make it to work on time. So I went out for what should have been a short run, but instead I went ahead and made it longer. Only 6.3 miles, but it turned what should have been a sub 30 minute workout into almost an hour. So now I am just as late to work as if I had gone to the pool. Maybe not that bad, but still I am pushing the line with how late I’m going in. What’s worse is I have a meeting I am going to be late for. Oh well. I was just enjoying my run too much to stop it short.

Unlike yesterday I was running pretty well today. I averaged about 9 minute miles pretty effortlessly. My HR is still a little high for a 9mm effort, but that will come down over the next couple of months. I’ve got a lot of catching up to do on the fitness I lost over the late fall. The key is to just keep from getting too exuberant with my running to prevent potential injury. That is going to be hard to do though if I keep feeling the way I did during this morning’s run. It was one of those days where I get chills down my spine from feeling so good. Part of the good feelings was thinking about what I am going to be doing in July. In fact I am getting those chills now as I type this blog entry.

Running the VT100 is going to be something that is great. A real point in my life that I will remember. I think of myself now running alone in the middle of the night. Will I be delirious? Will I be happy? Will I be thinking about lying on the ground, rolling into a ball and dying? I have no idea and that is part of the excitement. I will be pushing my body to a point it’s never been to before. I’ll be exploring uncharted territory; reaching the unknown. I’ll be a modern day explorer searching my own soul for answers. I’ll measure myself as a man, see what sort of guts I have and run for 100 miles. Failure at this endeavor is not an option. Knowing that I am going to be doing this, well, it’s not a feeling I can easily describe.

I am going to make a concerted effort this year to fully document my training online. After all, it’s not every year where I will be training for a 100 mile race. I should pay respect to what I am going to do and document how I got there. Half if not most of the event is all of the training you do leading up to it. I’d only be telling half the story if all I wrote about was doing the event itself and not writing about what I did to allow me to accomplish my goal.

Winter, it’s the new Spring. I just love Spring in the Winter. I am able to go to work without a coat and I can run outside without having to put on tights, hat and multiple layers. Not that I really mind the cold. If you dress properly, the cold should not be an issue, even on the most cold and windy of days. But nothing beats getting home from work and hearing your kids tell you that it’s so warm outside that they want to ride their bikes with you while you run. I love when they accompany me. Besides the company, I know they are getting some much needed exercise and a break from the usual gamut of cartoons on TV.

Yesterday worked out perfectly for me. I wanted to go for a run at lunch in this sunny and warm weather, but I was invited out to a power lunch to welcome a new staff member to my company’s management team. I couldn’t gracefully turn it down and I harbored hopes of being able to sneak out of the office later in the day to get in the run. How happy was I, when my wife called me later in the day to tell me that my kids wanted to ride with me when I got home from work. It made my day and once again thought how everything happens for a reason.

This morning I started to get back into my training routine after being off of it for a little over a week due to travel and a cold. I need to get focused if I am going to have a shot at being successful for the Vermont 100 miler. I got outside this morning while it was still dark, in shorts and light jacket (Go Global Warming!), and did a slow 7 miles in Prospect Park. I had the energy to do the run and the music I was listening to made the run go by pleasantly enough, but I was a little concerned with how slow my pace was. I was only averaging about 10 minute miles which is obscenely slow for me. I was wondering what ever happened to my casual 8 minute mile training pace.

I could already hear in my head the conversation I am going to have with my coach later in the day when I complain to him about my pace. He is just going to tell me not to worry about it. I guess I really shouldn’t, especially because in the Vermont 100 miler I would be very ecstatic with averaging a 10 mm pace and I know I will not be averaging that. For the VT100 I’ll be quite satisfied coming in at 24 hours which is just under 14:30’s per mile. That pace just sounds so doable, but we are talking about moving at that pace for a straight 24 hours. We will just see how it goes. Those back to back 8 hour training runs that will come up in the real Spring should be a good indication of my VT100 pace.

One of the biggest things I am coming to grips with over doing the VT100 is the fact that I am pretty much giving up on Ironman for the next two years. Well, at least IM Lake Placid. I won’t be doing it this year, and I won’t be able to register myself for next year. Ironman is just something I’ve been holding onto for the past 5 years and its feeling weird letting go. I suppose I could drive the few hundred miles from Vermont to Lake Placid to register the day after, but I think that might just be a little insane; just a little. I really can’t worry about that though. I need to focus completely on the VT100. Perhaps I’ll be able to get into the Badwater 135 the next year. For those reading my blog that don’t know, the Badwater 135 is a 135 mile run starting in Badwater, Death Valley in the middle of the summer. It starts from the lowest point on the North American continent (285’ below sea level) and winds up on top of Mt. Whitney at 8360′. If I can do the VT100, I should be able to do that. It’s only an extra 35 miles. Oh the suffering should be so damn good.

1/4/07

I’ve been sick for the past few days so I haven’t done any training. I hate when that happens. I start to get used to just lying around and it gets hard to start up again. I get used to sleeping late and taking it easy. The old habits of sitting back and watching TV begin to take over and I can feel myself becoming a couch potato slob again. But maybe this is happening for a reason. My shin has been bothering me and I have to get it to heal. In just 7 months time I’ll be running 100 miles through the hills and trails of Vermont. I need to have my leg completely healthy. Perhaps a cortisone shot will help

1/6/07 1:00am

Well I can’t fall asleep again which has been nothing new. I feel as though I can take a bottle of Ambien and I would still stay awake. At least I was able to get in a run Saturday afternoon, despite the fact that I am still feeling sick. I did just an easy 4 mile run around Prospect Park. It felt great. I was running with a feeling of exhilaration as I thought about how in just 7 months time I’d be running 100 miles. If that thought isn’t enough to motivate me during this short stuff, I don’t know what would. All I could think of would be the sense of accomplishment I will have once I complete that race, hopefully less than 24 hours so I can get the special buckle.

I am going to finish sucking on this Ambien in a few minutes at which time I’ll try to go to sleep again. I feel like waking up early enough to do a moderately long run. This just means I plan to run for as long as I feel like. I am not sure how far that will be at this point, but I at least want to give myself a chance to do so before I need to start running errands for the day. Well, that’s all for now, I am hoping to sleep soon.

So 2007 was not one of my better years in terms of training and racing. The year was plagued with illness and injury and I never really had a chance to get going. The highlights of the year in racing were the Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon, SOS and the Staten Island 6 hour run in which I came in 7th overall. Ironman Lake Placid was a total bust this year, but that is ok. I wasn’t well before the race and at least I attempted it. Many people would simply have said screw it. The best time I had training were the two weeks I had in Spain where I ran about 150 miles in two weeks and swam about 8 miles. At least I finished 2007 strongly and setup to have a good 2008.

The light year was reflected in my overall distance. For 2007 I had 2425 Cycling miles, 1200 Running miles and 92 swimming miles. I’d like to see my 2008 distances be more in the range of 4000, 2000 and 150 respectively. These are just arbitrary numbers I am coming up with; I have no idea if I’ll be able to do so much. I’ll have to take it one week at a time.

In any event, 2008 started off with my usual New Year’s festivities. First was an early morning run with my friend Larry around Prospect Park. It was a cool rainy day and we were both feeling tired from the evening before. Larry from drinking and staying up a little too late and me from having a full day skiing, bowling and eating in the Bershires, followed by a mad 183 mile dash home in my car to make it to my friend’s New Year’s Eve party before midnight – which I did make. However, the run woke us up and afterwards we reconvened for our annual Polar Bear New Year’s Dip in Coney Island. Fortunately, it had stopped raining by then and 1000’s of people were out on the beach all ready to plunge into the icy Atlantic. The group I was with all plunged ourselves into the water several times. It is such a rush going into the freezing cold water in nothing but a thin bathing suit. I felt so good every time I came out of the water. An amazing sense of well being infused my body and I was laughing and smiling and yelling in joy. After getting out of the cold water, the air temperature felt so warm that we all just hung around in our bathing suits and threw a football around. It was a great day to be alive.

After we left the beach, we headed back to Larry’s house where his wife had prepared the most delicious chili and her secret recipe for Hot Toddy’s – A drink consisting of tea, run, fruit juices, spices and other ingredients which shall remain secret. I hung around for several hours eating, drinking and talking until I started to feel the tiredness creep through my body and I could no longer hold my eyes open. I said my goodbyes and walked back home where I promptly took a much needed nap.

Unfortunately, on this second day of 2008, I awoke with a cold and sore throat. I am not going to rush my training and let the cold subside before I pick it up again. There is no point in sucking in my cold germs and giving myself Bronchitis. I’ve had that the last two January’s in a row and don’t want to go through that again. I’ll just rest until I feel better.

Lastly, for a great bit of news, I walked into my house this evening to find out I’ve been accepted into the Vermont 100 mile running race. I am so excited, nervous and a bit sad. Excited, because I’ve wanted to do this race for a while, nervous because my shin has been problematic and sad, because it means that I will miss Ironman Lake Placid this year. It will be the first time in 5 years that I will not be doing Lake Placid and I might not be able to get into IMLP for 2009 if I don’t go up to the race site. But that’s the price you have to pay sometimes to get and do the things you want.

So it’s time to get serious about rehabbing my shin. I finally shaved my leg and broke out with my TENS unit. Hopefully its regular application will help alleviate the problem. I’ll just have to see how things go over the next few weeks and months.

As much as my training has been going well lately, I have still been getting distracted. I find myself going to bed way too late each night to effectively get up and do a morning workout. I really need to cut these distractions out of my life as they are not productive. They are entertaining no doubt, but only entertainment. If anything, the distractions only serve as a reminder as to how boring my life can be in other areas. I need to work on the real world areas of my life and not escape into fantasyland.

Though I have been distracted, I still have been managing to get in the critical workouts. I even managed to get in a workout yesterday (xmas) late in the evening. I was down in Lakewood, NJ and planned to run the 5 mile Mannasquan reservoir loop. However, it was getting too late in the day to run through the woods and I forgot my headlamp at home. Instead I did a 1 mile loop through the streets of Lakewood. At first I wasn’t thrilled about doing a 1 mile loop in the street, but it turned out to be a very pleasant run. As it became dark there we many houses with xmas lights lighting up the way. The one mile loop was very easy to do and I found myself getting lost in it. It was completely dark save for the occasional street light and my ears were filled with the musical styling’s of Motorhead. I love running while listening to Motorhead. Lemmy and company have such a loud and fast paced beat which makes it so easy to keep a high cadence. The darkness and isolation of sound from the real world put my on another dimension and I was completely immersed in it.

Anyway, I intended to go 4, maybe 5 miles. However, I was just feeling so good that I just kept going. I eventually went 7 miles and thought of continuing until someone from my aunt’s house started to get worried about me and they came out to look for me. In the end, what got me to stop was my coach’s admonition to stop training while I still had the desire to do more. And damn could I have done more. I could have run an ultra. It was only with great reluctance and a touch of sadness that I finally decided to call it a night and head back inside. I knew I had xmas dinner waiting for me and I went inside looking forward to that.

It is a little before 2am and I just got back from a loop around Prospect Park. It wasn’t perhaps the smartest run I’ve ever done, but it was one of my better runs, at least for my spirit. I was feeling a little down and a run under the beautiful moon lit sky seemed like just the ticket to brighten my spirits. A little flaying of my body to strengthen my spirit, if you will.

What is keeping me going on my training lately is the sheer pleasure of it. I have a nice relaxed feel for it and look forward to it. I want to do more than I am scheduled to do. It’s been bringing me real pleasure. I was just telling a friend this evening over drinks, that for a couple of years my aggressiveness and enthusiasm towards training for Ironman was fueled by anger. Now this worked very well for me and I wouldn’t trade the feelings that pushed me in my training during that time for anything. However, after the anger was worked out of my body, I found myself lacking in desire and unable to push myself towards really training for the Ironman. Just look at what happened to me at this past year’s IMLP. I think I’ve finally developed a healthier attitude towards my training. I’ve finally discovered the pure joy in doing it.

I am not saying that I didn’t get joy over the past several years. I got enormous pleasure out of it. There is nothing like the feelings of well being that you get after you push yourself hard and work out your aggressions. It’s just that now, I am not working out aggression, but I am still getting the same pleasure out of my training. No, the training wasn’t working out aggression all the time, but that was a large part of it. And I am sure now I will use my training to work out some anger that I am feeling. These days though it is “more” about doing it for the fun of it. For keeping a healthy lifestyle. For setting an example for my family. And most of all just for me.